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Gays and lesbians have been called the invisible minority. But according to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), one subgroup -- older homosexuals -- is even less noticed. As Scott J. Hamilton, deputy executive director of Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders, notes, ageism is a factor in the gay community, as well as "ignorance and stereotypes that elderly gays just don't exist."
The NGLTF estimates 3.5 million Americans older than 50 self-identify as gay or lesbian. That number will increase significantly in coming decades as the population of older workers rises along with the number of people who become comfortable declaring their sexual orientation. The workplace implications are enormous.
Older Gay and Lesbian Workers Face Special Challenges
According to Lisa Krinsky, director of the LGBT Aging Project, today's older gay and lesbian employees are "a different generation. If they spent their entire career closeted or discreet, they may not want to reveal their orientation to an employer or ask for domestic-partner benefits. And if they're in a company where benefits are introduced or they're applying for a new job, the employer may not even present these to them. Companies sometimes just don't think about older gay people.
Because the Family and Medical Leave Act doesn't cover nonmarried partners, older gay and lesbian workers may hesitate to ask for time off. "Elderly GLBT people have caregiving issues too," Krinsky says. "Culturally, we're accustomed to people taking a parent, child or spouse to the doctor. But we're not accustomed to someone leaving work to care for a 'friend.'"
When a gay or lesbian worker's lover dies, closeted employees may feel uncomfortable asking for bereavement leave. That unease may extend to colleagues. "If your partner of 30 years dies, what do you say to coworkers?" Krinsky asks. "'My friend died'? 'My roommate died'? 'Oh,' people say. 'Too bad. Will you get another roommate?'"
Amber Hollibaugh, senior strategist with the NGLTF, says, "Elderly gay people came through the worst of homophobia. It was a time of shock treatments, of losing kids and jobs. They responded by carefully dividing their lives. Many of them felt they couldn't be out at work. And while real strides have been made in corporate America, it's hard to go to HR after 25 years and suddenly ask to add your partner for benefits."
Navigating the Workplace as an Older Gay or Lesbian Worker
On the positive side, Hollibaugh says, some workers are inspired by seeing that, instead of being punished for coming out, they'll be rewarded with benefits and support. "A safe workplace is not just about policies; it's about feeling welcomed and valued," she adds. "That has enormous impact on people."
Hamilton says, "The more out you can be and the earlier, the better off you are. If an employer knows you've got a companion or partner early, it's far less troublesome than having to come out in the midst of a crisis."
Another issue involves HIV and AIDS. With people in their 60s living with these diseases, health insurance is crucial. And being open about health issues can mean being open about sexuality.
Hamilton sees a geographic factor in the comfort level of older gay and lesbian workers. "It's less of a problem in large cities than in smaller ones, where there are fewer out gay men and women, let alone elderly ones," he says. "And when someone retires and moves to a new area but wants to work part-time, he or she may not feel comfortable being out in a new environment."
Krinsky cites intergenerational conflicts as another issue: "A 30-year-old who is fully out at work, with a spouse and a house, may not be able to relate to a 60-year-old who talks about a 'roommate' or doesn't talk at all." This can mean mutual resentment and misunderstanding rather than solidarity or the sense of a shared gay community. But "there are lots of vibrant 60-year-olds who are completely out and 30-year-olds who are closeted," Krinsky notes.
Looking ahead, the workplace will see gay and lesbian workers who were shaped by the Stonewall riots of 1969. As they continue to work, they will force employers to face gay and lesbian issues in new ways.
